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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Here We Go

Well I've been meaning to start blogging for a really long time now, and I finally convinced myself to do it. This isn't really much of a post, more of an introduction really. My very basic situation is this: I grew up in a standard frum, black-hat home and went to a yeshiva elementary and high school (was living hell, more on that later). I know this is sounding like the beginning of some kind of lame shidduch resume, but here's the catch; I'm not religious. At all. However, I'm the only person alive (except the excellent people at Footsteps, and now you) who knows this. No one in my life knows that I'm not religious. My parents sort-of know that I'm less religious than they are, they just haven't the faintest notion of how much less. I'm in a yehiva and go to college at night, which has totally been a cool change of pace so far (I'm talking about college here, that should be very clear in spite of my horrible sentence structure), so I'm finally getting to meet some non-jewish or non-religious people which has been awesome. This blog is where I plan on sharing my experiences with you so that A) I can receive input about what's going on in my life and B) I can hopefully help out other people who are in the same depressing boat. This pretending stuff is really really hard and I've been really depressed for a while now so finally sharing will hopefully help out a bit. Please feel more than free to comment. This blog is going to be like a journal of sorts about my journey which has been pretty crazy up to this point. I will be posting about my background more extensively in my next post. Thanx for reading. Once again please feel free to comment. I'm dying for input here.

18 comments:

  1. Just know that your not alone in this, many people have gone through the same thing. Good luck

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  2. Sad story. It must feel awful not to find meaning in one's existence - whether inside or outside Judaism.

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  3. @hmmm
    Who said he doesn't find meaning in his existence? You don't have to be religious to feel that.

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  4. I have meaning in my existence or at least understand what I'm looking for. It's more that I don't find meaning in judaism (or at least not frum judaism) therefore it's an impossible situation to be in. Forced into a life that's all about the supposed meaning of something that I don't believe in.

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  5. beentheredonethatJuly 31, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    Best of luck to you. Glad you found footsteps. Check out Unpious.com
    Read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
    Realize how vast the world is, and that there is so much to know. An Education can be your gateway to knowledge so you can make informed decisions about your life so you can live a life of your own choosing, not a life that a bunch of Rabbis tell you to live by.
    Realize there is goodness in the "scary" outside world.
    Most importantly keep your head up and know it WILL be ok, you will figure it out.
    Best of luck to you.

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  6. You are not alone.
    And you should know how very very lucky you are that you realized the truth early on and have so few ties to keep you locked in the system. I am (happily, admittedly) married with 10 kids and there is no way that I could get out without terrible, terrible repercussions. If only I had known then - when I was a "Good upstanding Yeshiva Bochur" - what I know now.
    I am really looking forward to hearing your story - Yasher Koach and all the best!

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  7. Excuse me, but can we please cut the crap.

    Isn't this really all about sex?

    http://jewishphilosopher.blogspot.com/2008/07/jewish-skeptics-and-sex.html

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  8. 007, It takes courage to leave behind the familiar. Best of luck in your new endeavors.

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  9. The one most important blogging tip to remember: ignore anything by whack-job Jewish Philosopher.

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  10. We are all free to make choices. That is essential, and I wish 007 felt freer to make these choices than he does.

    But let's not fool ourselves that there is a rational atheistic world out there, free from superstition or irrational beliefs - because there is not.

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  11. Hello and welcome. I'll add you to my blog.

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  12. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to finding yourself. I look forward to reading more about your journey.

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  13. Looking forward to your posts. Best of luck to you.

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  14. Thanx for all the well-wishes.
    @Zach: ya i looked at J phil's blog. OMG that guy has some serious issues.

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  15. Added to my blogroll.

    JP: הפוסל במומו פוסל.

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  16. Good luck with blogging , I look forward to reading your blog , welcome to the community.

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  17. Welcome! You are added to my blogroll.

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  18. Welcome to life! I wish I could stress the importance of leaving the community quickly, of doing it with a certain finalty, and not remaining what i call "frum but not religious" ie going to friends for shabbos meals, yet not keeping shabbos." However, just as I went through the process, I imagine it's sort of a necessary evil, almost a cleansing, a process of self discovery. Best of luck, and I'd be happy to help with anything if you need. 1kissmeimshomer@gmail.com

    -kissmeimshomer

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